16 Hilarious Tweets About Your Pizza Obsession

Dramatic deliveries:

Pizza babies:

Planning ahead:

How to get your priorities straight:

A dream come true:

One of the biggest hardships ever:

I used to feel left out when somebody didn’t invite me out but now I only feel that way when I see another apartment being delivered a pizza

— audrey farnsworth (@audipenny)

This truth:

Not to get political, but people who use utensils to eat pizza should be in federal prison

— Jason Miller (@longwall26)

The real reason to buy a “Baby On Board” sticker:

I always use a baby on board sticker when I’m transporting pizza home

— amber (@soleilalaplage)

This totally reasonable freakout:

*calls up pizza place*

WHY WOULD YOU CUT MY PIZZA SO UNEVEN? IF YOU’RE TRYING TO TEAR MY FAMILY APART IT’S WORKING

— Rad Kyle (@KyleMcDowell86)

This funny connection:

You know how singers point their finger towards the sky to hit that super high note? That’s what I do when I eat the last slice of pizza

— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne)

Those times when you have to be a little selfish:

“Is there any pizza left, dad?”

[slowly licking each individual slice of pizza while maintaining eye contact] No

— Reverend Scott (@Reverend_Scott)

Bittersweet realities:

[INTERVIEW]

HR: What are your strengths?

Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza*

HR: Wow-Weaknesses?

Me:*pulls out & eats an entire pizza*

— The Cultured Ruffian (@CulturedRuffian)

Heartbreaking moments:

Pizza burned the inside of my mouth and I don’t really understand why the things I love keep hurting me.

— Because I’m a Guy (@CauseWereGuys)

A terrifying regret:

I forgot my leftover pizza at the restaurant so I’ll probably think of this for the rest of my life

— Desi (@DesiJed)

How things really happened:

On the 5th day God created the birds and all the living creatures in the oceans and then he was like, “Can we get pizza? It’s Friday.”

— Mike Birbiglia (@birbigs)

And finally, the most effective diagram:

Place one pizza on top of another to create a Venn diagram showing the overlap between “Happy People” and “People Who Have Pizza”

— ♡ brian essbe ♡ (@SortaBad)

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